It's a true shame this shame I feel
So constantly and real
With apparently no reason
Other than an ongoing self-treason,
Of confidence a dark lack and, of course,
A fear so thick when I attack I bounce back.

A fear so bleak, of the unknowing and of failing,
of succeeding but not prevailing.
And a shame so sure of itself
It should have a cock.

Running amok the corner of my mind,
Weaving thoughts and tying knots,
Making me blind and fall behind
Myself.

My poor self, woe is me,
So tired and lonely.
So badly wired together
That I could not but be tethered
To this evil twin I have inside,
Resting in formaldehyde,
Conserved and conservative,
Absurd and derivative,
He's no relative of mine
But within me he'll lie
Puppeteering my hands, mouth and feet
As if I allowed him to keep
me locked, muzzled and tied.

Should I abide?
Or rather ignore
This that is such a bore
Of all feelings the more
Insignificant and ill-advised.

Let me rejoice and live life
Even if sometimes disguised
As happy little lies.